Pai in the sky

I flew up here in a single prop plane on Saturday March 7th, it was a 35 minute flight and I was glad to avoid the 4 hour bus ride. Let me tell you though, it is a bit more difficult to convince yourself you are in your living room when you can see everything the pilots are doing and the propellers going. Turbulence is no joke either, let’s just say I did a lot of praying in those 35 minutes.

I am staying with my friends Selina and Ram (pronounced Lom) in their cute old style Thai teak wood house. The property is nice, there is a pond with catfish and lotus flowers and a stream running through the property. The house is like one would imagine existing in the 1800’s in the wild west of the US, very much like a cabin except with Asian design. Everything here is utilitarian and has multiple purposes. The kitchen has a double cook top where Ram makes his culinary masterpieces, if I’m lucky, I will learn some recipes before I leave. The dishes are done out back along with the laundry. The bathroom has a shower and a commode with a hand lain stone floor, slanted for drainage. It’s all very rustic and cozy.

As soon as I got here I could feel the creativity. I met Chris, from whom they rent the place, he and his girlfriend have lived here for a good while, so the house is well lived in. Chris is an amazing sculptor so there are many great pieces around the house made of various materials, wood, bronze and wax which have yet to be cast. I am thoroughly impressed at the amount of talent here! Selina is a gifted artist as well as is Ram who she calls a “maker”. Since I have been here, which is 5 days now, he has made a ukalale, a wooden sculpture, drawn an amazing portrait of the house, he also planted a garden using a complex irrigation system utilizing bamboo and plugs to change the flow. As I type this he is rewiring the electricity. I am in awe.

All of this has made this a wonderful place to rest and go inward. There is music either being played or on the iPod and the sound of the stream make it a very tranquil place to be. I have had very vivid dreams every night and have since finished a book and started on another. We eat very well here too! Today we went to the market to gather supplies and when it got too hot to work, we went across the street to Fluid where they have an outdoor gym and a very nice saline pool. Just what the Dr ordered.

Yesterday I went with a friend to some hot springs and a waterfall. We jumped on the motor bike and headed out of town. We turned around a few times, not knowing the place, but we eventually got there. The cost B100 entry and whoa, are they worth every baht! The springs are actually a river and each successive pool is cooler than the last. We started at the bottom and worked our way up until we were over heated and so we worked our way back down again. Right when the day was getting really warm and we were really hot from the sun and the spring, we went to the waterfall. On the way there we went to a great little coffee shop and restaurant and had a delicious coffee and sandwich, yum! And then headed up to the waterfall.

The road to the falls winds up through a small village and around many hills. We gained in elevation as the road went from dirt to paved and back many times. I was glad I learned to carry a passenger from the start so that this was not too scary or dangerous for us. Once we reached the area of the falls we parked and hiked in.

The river has worn the earth into a cavernous serpentine ravine lined with rock. The water is cool and fresh, being fed by a fresh mountain spring. There are hollows where the water has bubbled and churned out spherical spaces. It looks like the surface of the moon in places. I got right in, much to my fellow’s amazement, for I am used to cold temps having grown up in a cold weather climate. It was chilly at first but I got used to it and it was rather enjoyable considering the ambient temp had reached over 95 degrees. It sure beat being hot and sweaty!

Once we were cooled we hiked into the ravine toward the waterfall. We crossed a rickety bamboo bridge straight out of the cartoons. I was sure it would become a scene from Wiley Coyote where I would be running in the air, or even hanging from a vine like something from Indiana Jones! I took pictures of all this to document it all just in case But alas, I am sound and safe.

Around the bend after the bridge the path opened into the bottom of a large mouth of a cavern, at the end was the waterfall. The stones dappled the entrance until it gave way to a sandy bottom. It’s so amazing I’m sure it’s sacred. I shot many photos and enjoyed the sound of the water and the sand in my toes and the cool air in the sensation of being in the earth. Really it felt like a dream it was just so wonderful. It was around 4pm when we headed back, just when the air cools off as the sun begins to set. The ride was pleasant and easy as the road wound back into town.

I decided to stay in Pai until Selina and Ram go back to Chiang Mai on the 23rd. It’s so pleasant and mellow here I am enjoying the easy pace. Plus by the time I leave I will be very comfortable with a motor bike, maybe even enough to ride in a city. I have always wanted to learn but traffic has made me apprehensive for sure. Here there is little traffic as the town is made up of only four main streets. It is very cozy indeed.

Well that’s all for now, If you want you can see the pictures of the house, hot springs and waterfall on my flickr. I will upload more as I go.

Korp koon ka!

Thanks for reading!

www.flickr.com/photos/godstudent/sets/

Blossoming lotus of the heart

I believed that if I wandered the earth my enlightenment would be somehow confirmed. I thought I would be able to reach out and touch it, somehow making it manifest here in the impermanence. I wanted so badly to find that which I saw in my dreams and while my body lie crushed beneath that car 14 years ago. Like a child, I wanted to explore and play and to find what I seek, in the end saying “peek a boo”.

Instead, while traveling this weary, worn road of the lonely planet tourists, I have found my one and only truth; everything I seek is inside me. I can access it anywhere, at any time, all I must do is be still and listen. This, of course, is taught in every religion, spiritual path and wise parable known to every seeker who ever sought, but to me, it is a profound remembering and a wonderful gift that I needed to find for myself in order to continue the great work.

This realization, formulating in my mind during my second week traveling, has been echoed again and again every day since. I can be standing on a street corner, with the bubble and churn of the traffic, rushing past me like the rapids of some great river, or in a sweet little temple tucked away from the noise and all I have to do is close my eyes and it’s with me. Like the strong and gentle hand of my father on my back, leading me toward that first step, I feel the presence of all my hopes and fears vanish as I am filled with the purpose of being alive on earth.

Strange. I know these things intellectually, I know them in my mind of minds but, until this journey I still grasped and grappled to believe it in my heart of hearts. Tears flow now as I realize that the light I carry will burn just as strong from the security of my home in Portland as it will in the din and swirl of urban Asia, half way around the globe. I can be at peace and hold strong my belief and understanding of my truth. Because truth is truth, you cannot destroy the truth, disguise the truth nor hide the truth, it will always come to light.

So many times I have felt mad. I have been pushed, pulled, knocked down, insulted, betrayed and slandered because of my truth. As I sit here writing this I realize that it’s all a gift. The more that washes away, the more pure my truth, the less attached I am to approval and acceptance. Sure, it hurt to lose friendships but, what friend would tear apart an others truth? Sure, I was disappointed that I did not connect but, what connection can be made if there is no common ground? Truth seeking is my ground. It’s here, it’s there, it’s in you and it’s in me and some how, some way it is inextricably connected even if by a mere needle and tread. My question to you is; are you courageous enough to bear it.

That is why I left. I was beginning to doubt my truth. I was questioning my experiences. I was examining myself with the scrutiny of the west and all it’s judgments, I felt like I was disappearing. Marginalized as some left wing, hoo doo voo doo, space hippie new ager when really I am a student of god.

I can feel now that I am not alone. We are ubiquitous, between the lines, behind the curtains, across the street and up the hill, we are quietly doing our work. Some live in the monasteries, some in the villages, some live in cities and some live in ashrams. Some have gained status and are helping those on a large scale and some, like me, are working with one person at a time. Some have devoted their entire existence to holding, every action consumed with the desire to serve, they are the custodians of the light. I believe that somehow, without them, the fabric of the soul of the world would tatter as a prayer flag in the wind.

Sadly, for some it is too much to bear. In these cases these unfortunates turn inward and self destruct. The buy the illusion their ego is selling, they become prideful in the worst way; inadequacy. They become addicted to the sensations of the world, abusing their own humanity, exploiting themselves and others. Addiction is used as the way out only to become a prison of the spirit, trapping the soul in a fast decaying corpse. The road that seemed to be a short cut to enlightenment was only a short cut to destruction and death. These are the ones who would be the greatest light workers, if only they believed in themselves. Only god has what can repair their broken wings.

The more I learn the less I know. Behind every answered question I find another one asking. Around every bend I find new strength and discover a new fear to meet and challenge to over come. Staying in one place for a while allows me to assess my movements and insecurities, it allows time for exploration and integration of new found understanding. It can be painful to learn that what I believed was wrong, as I learn to let go of pride and ego I am able to adapt and flow with compassion and acceptance.

I get really uncomfortable at times, I cannot sit still and nothing will make me feel better. I seem to go into a mode of consumption, I want to acquire shiny objects or helpful tools. I usually do not need these things but, I observe, they make me feel like I have a better grasp, like I am more prepared to meet the coming shift in my perspective.

I am committed to my pack. I became committed, when I purchased the thing, to 5800 cubic inches and, py practicing letting go, I only carry what I need. This has called attention to the external seeking, I have no choice but to recognize and arrest the urge because I have no room! I have taken to wandering the markets and looking at packages and eating new foods instead of shopping. So many beautiful things can be found at the local markets, textiles, jewelery, handicrafts, decorations and also very useful things for living well. Since I am on the road, none of this applies to me. This has been very illuminating, indeed.

Another thing I have come to understand is that my ego uses judgment to guard me against insecurity. When I feel alienated, which is quite often seeing as I am in a foreign land with a foreign language, my ego begins to asses things assigning evaluations and judgments. By sizing up the things that I don’t understand my ego believes it can become bigger and therefore save me from myself. I noticed this around week 3 and have been observing myself in various situations and sure enough it happens every time. If I let it run ragged, it edges me out of all joy and I end up feeling more alienated, especially if I don’t have another ego with whom to commiserate and validate my insecurities and judgments. It has been very amusing to learn this about myself since I once considered myself to be open minded, ha! I am finding great strength in being quiet and alone on this journey.

So many layers of conditioning have built up through the English language and American culture. I noticed that a lot of the languages around these parts use only a present tense, this eliminates the past or future dwelling the ego uses to pull one out of the present moment. If one is referring to the past the word yesterday applies as well as tomorrow. I noticed the people for whom this is their mother tongue really do possess a lightness of spirit and a great sense of humor, they seem not to be bogged down with anxiety or worry, even if they are impoverished. They delight in the moment, whether it is in work or devotional offerings or in the company of family, the level of contentment is astounding to me. Rarely have I seen someone who is edgy or worried and even less have I met someone in a hurry, there’s always time to stop and chat and exchange a smile. I can’t recall meeting a mean spirited person or someone who is outwardly rude or impatient, unless of course they were western. This has been the most amazing thing to me by far. The politeness and consideration I have observed blows me away, it really is live and let live.

So far I have gone through so much adjustment and peeling of layers I’m not sure I will ever be the same again. I am both delighted and saddened by this fact. Delighted because I feel as though my sensitivity and considerate nature has been validated and uplifted and saddened because the west is going to be very harsh to me once I return and I will have to adopt practice to remain centered and unattached. Of course this is exactly why I have traveled, to adopt a new perspective and grow into the heart that has been waiting to bloom.

Thanks for reading.

Candy, visa run and KuDeTa!

I love Bali. I’ll admit it, I was having a hard time before because it’s out of my budget to do the things I really want to do here but, I love it.

I went to the supermarket and at the check out there is a sign that says: please excuse us for exchanging your change with candy”. I thought this was a joke, every time I saw it I laughed. One day, I paid with cash instead of a card, low and behold instead of coins I got candy! I laughed and a man next in line said that in South America they do that with stamps from the post. I asked if it would be ok to pay for my food with candy… 

I’m staying here in Raja Gardens right near the beach and it really is great. I take taksi around and I have friends with motor bikes so if I need to go somewhere it’s just a short trip.

Originally I had come here for a visa run for Thailand. Seems silly right, to go to a major tourist area, a prime vacation place for a visa run? I have always heard great things about Bali, the stunning beauty, the myriad of activities and the great weather. The only thing I did not account for is all of that = expensive, for this traveler anyway.

At first I was a bit discouraged and wasn’t really feelin it. In fact, I felt like I had wasted my time and money and was planning a trip home, if you can believe that. Then I met some cool people and my perspective changed. After that I began trying varying approaches to my perspective and jumped head first into my goals of SCUBA and enjoying relaxation without distraction. Things began to look different and I started to see Bali for it’s potential and it’s beauty as a destination. Expense aside it is a really rich place to be.

My visa experience here was unbelievable! I had read various places that a Thai visa run to Denpesar, Bali was a debacle waiting to unfold. This, however, was not my experience. I was originally told that I would need 8 days, 3 photos, 3 copies of my passport, and US$35 (not Rupiahs, not Baht but US$).

Somewhere along the way I lost my inspiration to get a visa and was nonplussed at the effort it took and was going to settle for a 30 day visa on arrival. I would renew if I felt the need, by going on a boarder run. But, because I got in touch with a friend from the states who is staying in Pai, I wanted to have the choice of staying longer so I called the Consulate. To my surprise, the time had been changed to a 2 day turnaround which meant I could still get one after all my procrastinating.

I got all my things together and headed up to 81 Jalan Puputan, Renon. It’s roughly a 45 minute taksi ride costing around $8. When I got there he informed me Thailand was giving 90 day visas for free! This was so lucky for me! The only thing is that I needed an air ticket out of Thailand to be able to get a visa. This was a mild inconvenience. I hoofed it around the corner, logged on and purchased a cheap ticket through Air Asia to Phnom Pen 89 days from my arrival. This way, if I change my mind, Air Asia goes so many places I can just exchange my ticket and pay a $17 change fee. All together the ticket cost me around US$60, not a bad deal.

I returned to the consulate and handed everything over. It was a strange feeling to hand over my passport for 2 days. Thankfully I have a scanned copy in my email and I have several copies in various places, just in case I need it.

The next day it was up to Renon again to pick up my passport. Man, it was hot! I mean sticky, humid, needs to rain hot. The taksi I was in had less than working AC so I had him drop me and flagged another. This one had arctic air! Whew, thank the gods! It was cheaper too! It was actually a nice turn because the driver has great rates for around town and I have referred him to others already.

I got my passport back with the stamps and all, 90 day stay allowed, all went well for the visa run!

That night, I heard from Elijah in Nepal! Yay! I was getting really worried, he had said he would be traveling around remote Nepal to plant trees with the Universal Peace Organization. When I hadn’t heard from him – at all – I was a bit worried and called to him in meditation. I figured if I hadn’t heard from him by Mar 2nd I would call the consulate. Low and behold he emailed me that day. Everything is going better than fine, his project is taking off, and he is enjoying himself immensely. He wants me up there ASAP. So the only thing to do is figure logistics, have fun in Thailand for a while till it gets too hot, then head off to Katmandu.

Who knows, really, every time I think I know what’s around the corner, the path makes a loopty loop and I am headed in another direction. It’s more fun that way anyway.

I had originally said I wanted to go Thailand, Bali, New Zealand, maybe Australia, back to Thailand, Nepal, Turkey, Greece, Italy then Belize. That is a lot of countries and I have less money than I thought I would so my itinerary is being edited. I am not going to New Zealand or Australia at this time due to the price of air tickets. I am however doing really well at staying in my budget for everything else so I can continue on my merry way sans a trip down under. It’s ok, When I go, I want to be able to dive and trek which costs a pretty penny.

As of now, I am headed out to the beach to enjoy my last two days here in Bali.

After I wrote this I went to a place called Ku De Ta, it’s the swankiest place I have ever been, here’s what it was like for me…

The taksi pulled up to a driveway where there were guards with paper tablets, very effective for fighting crime. I walk up around the way to the stunning entrance, flanked with tall glass walls and a huge fountain in the center. As I walk up the stairs I am washed over by the aire of elegance.

This place is amazing, the epitome of contemporary Asian design; mix of mid century American and clean Asian angles. The place is U shaped with an open courtyard in the center; the walls are all glass, over looking the ocean, of course. The front, near the entrance is over sized mod wicker rocker chairs, they remind me of Beatlejuice for some reason. The large main area is open and clear fitted with large comfortable dining tables; there are many very, very rich people, dressed to the hilt, eating very expensive food.

I walk through, confident and happy, ignoring everything else but how damn lucky I am to be here. As I exit the dining area out into the courtyard, the breeze sweeps my body and I hear lovely down tempo jazz floating from a well tuned sound system. I walk slowly, my confidence wavering as I observe couples and friends lounging on large reclining bed like structures. I adjust my perspective and stroll out there, swaying my hips to the music.

One of the Bali Boy waiters comes over and greets me, asking if I am alone and if I would like to sit. At first I say “oh, no, I couldn’t, I mean, I don’t need, I mean…” I trail off into silence. He gestures over to the lounger in front, the one with the best view, and I suddenly say “yes! why not? OK.” and I go over and get comfortable. Imagine a king size bed made into a luxurious deck chair with a reclining back and end tables on the arms, it’s very comfortable.

At first I sit up and look around then I decide I am going to enjoy every second of this no matter what else is going on around me. I scoot back and the waiter brings me a menu and I blurt out “I’ll just have a lemon juice” and he says “are you sure that’s all you want? We have a lot of very good non alcoholic drinks, have a look at the menu” So I take it and flip through and choose a fresh strawberry juice, my favorite drink as of late. He smiles and leaves.

I settle in and it hits me. Here I am lounging at this ultra swanky luxury joint just meters from the ocean beneath the constellations of the southern hemisphere, gratitude washes over me and I take a moment to pray. There are flood lights shining out to sea so you can see the surf break and the music is just loud enough to be heard over the water, a very nice mix, something I would play at home. I take a deep breath and relax back into the chaise. Just then the waiter brings the fresh strawberry juice. I think this is heaven.

I sip the juice and breathe deeply, every once and a while licking my lips to taste the salt from the surf. I place my glasses on my head and star gaze, man, this is the life. If I were rich I would do this every day. No wonder they have made this place, it’s absolutely wonderful.

I finish my drink and look around. I notice a couple hovering like vultures. I get the hint, I mean the chaise is meant for more than one. I gather my things and wander back through. I laugh out loud and make a face at the hostess, a face that says “ouwgh, I am sooooo rich and important” as I pass her we both crack up. As I leave I feel really glad I came and glad I left before it got to me.

Today I went to this fantastic spa called Jari Menari which, when translated, means dancing hands. They do it right! I ordered “The Perfect Massage” which is 90 minutes. All the therapists are male, which is a new thing for me, and it works just fine. Most healers in Balinese culture are men, I have met a few women but, for the most part they are male.

I got a locker and a sarong. I peeled off my clothes, moist from the high noon heat, and wrapped myself. The rooms are in a line and the back wall is a continuous fountain running the length of the spa with a Buddha statue in front of every room. The floors are teak and the roof woven palm with a ceiling fan over every room. Front walls are frosted glass with sliding doors and each room has a small table fitted with supplies. It is all very well done.

This is the second time I have been here and I fell asleep the last time too. It takes a skilled therapist to put me to sleep, let me tell you. This massage is said to be the best in Bali, I haven’t been to THAT many spas but I would almost agree on that point alone. The spa lives up to it’s name, as the massages are, from what I can assess, a mix of Thai, western, lomi lomi and Balinese traditional massages. Whatever he did, it was magic!

I met Bekah for the last time on this trip for lunch and the beach. We went to Queen’s Tandoor, a great Indian restaurant on the main road in Seminyak, they have locations in several Asian countries and they are really tasty! We had Palak Aloo, Malai Kofta, Garlic Nan, Basmati Rice and Mango Lassis, it was so good!

We then went to Kuta beach. It is very touristic, with rented loungers, surfer boys and tusk abound. The waves were great and the people watching was perfect. Bekah and I talked about Bali culture, which is always interesting because she is an ethnographer. I always gain amazing perspective running my observations past her. I learned a lot from her on this trip and there was talk of taking a trip together in the future.

I am at an Internet Outpost in Kuta uploading my photos to my Flickr account so you all can see some things. Remember my camera was stolen so the shots are what happened after all that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/godstudent/sets/

Thanks for reading! I’ll post more pictures as soon as I get off Bali, the connection here is soooooo slow. I’m lucky I get to email and blog!

Much Love!

Ubud, Tulemben, Kuta, Seminyak and finding my solution

Hmmm… where did I leave off?  Oh, yes, I remember now.  I had met Bekah and gotten some recommendations, yes, I would check it out.

The next day I met a friend, Michael,  who does reiki.  I asked him about his practice and he invited me for lunch to talk it over.  We met at a western style cafe and had some iced coffees.  He asked me about my near death experience and of my practice of healing.  He had some really interesting things to say about what I do and I really appreciated the insight. He asked me some questions and said I needed to make a decision about attuning (the process of getting initiated in reiki level 1) .  He explained the proper way to initiate was to get attuned, practice a year, got to level 2 then practice another year and then go to level 3 because only then can the soul body be ready for that stage of healing others.  It takes a good while to get into the groove of light work.  I completely agree.

He asked if I like art.  Of course I love art.  He invited me to his house to see art.  Wow, his house is amazing!  One of the walls is the entire height of the house and the upstairs is lofted so the wall is completely exposed to all other parts of the house.  He had several large pieces there and many more around the house.  He also has a gallery shop in front of his house in which he shows his pieces along with a Balinese sculptor who seems to make alive the spirit of the wood he carves.  It was all so delightful!  I really enjoy Michael’s work, it’s completely uninhibited and really has a sense of movement and light about it.

It was very hot that day so we went for a swim in his pool.  He described how he uses floating as a form of meditation and grounding.  It was a great time and I was happy to connect with another healer and talk shop.  We made arrangements for a trade so we would understand better the work each other does.

I came back a couple of days later and we traded healing.  I gave body and he gave reiki.  It was a great exchange and I have felt a lot more buoyant since.  He suggested that I wait to be attuned and that I follow my heart when choosing a teacher.  He would be gad to attune me if only we had 3 more people for a class because the master cannot properly teach unless the students have someone upon whom to practice and another student to bounce feedback off of while they too are practicing.  he said it makes for more effective learning.

I really appreciate all this information because I have been called to reiki many times before but had felt a certain hesitation.  Now  I see, in hindsight, that the reason is because of the way it was taught and the way it was practiced was not the way he did it at all.  There have been times where I have been zapped by reiki after a session, so much so that I needed a nap.  There have been other times where I felt jolted and was ready to dance the night away.  Still others when I had a sense that there was no effect whatever, like a sham given by a charlatan.  When I received reiki from Michael there was a warming and cooling, a shift in my sense of weight and a very clear threshold was crossed.  Afterward I was tired and needed to rest the remainder of the day.  Michael said that was normal and to take it easy.  He even suggested that I not go diving the next day but to wait for the day after.  I’m really glad I met him, I feel like I have a better understanding of reiki.

The next morning I gathered all my things and headed off to Tulemben to learn to SCUBA dive.  I had met a guy from England who has over 500 dives who recommended a sweet spot on the far eastern part of the island known for the USAT Liberty wreck.  He said that the open water dives would be to the wreck and that I would save a lot of time and money by going there myself rather than having another dive shop transport me there.  So I went.

Tulemben is a sleepy little village on the eastern side of the island in the shadow of Mt. Agung.  It is very lush and sparsely populated.  The village has a few warungs and some bars and a bunch of dive shops.  Many of the divers and instructors come from all over Indonesia and other parts of Bali.  It makes for interesting company and everyone has their own sense of humor.  Since there is a lava bed just below the surface there isnt much farming, the land is rocky and has lush vegetation.  It was really clear at night and I was able to star gaze without the light pollution of the bigger towns.

I started my dive instruction at Liberty Dive Resort on Tuesday and by Friday I had my first open water fun dive in the Liberty wreck.  The resort is nice and very affordable.  My room was large with two double beds and the bathroom was a good size with a walk in shower.  There was AC and fan along with a private balcony overlooking the garden.  They have a pool, also used for instruction, and the dining area overlooks the sea.  It is a lovely place and I recommend it for anyone who wants to dive or snorkel and relax.  The town is small so there is no night life but, because I have gadgets, we managed to have a party or two to some music beneath the stars.  I met some great folks there, we told stories and laughed.  I learned that a fishing village in Vietnam has the best windy season for Kite Boarding?  Also learned  that Amsterdam has one of the most advanced care system for addiction recovery.  I was giddy to learn that there are still amazing parties happening with fantastic music and that the love of dance is still alive and well over in the Netherlands.  Travelers are full of useful tips and entertaining stories, it makes the time go fast.

While I was there, there was no internet or any other distractions so I had a lot of time to think.  I got really really homesick for a while there.  I was planning to just fly home and then down to Belize.  I figured I had seen enough and was heart sick for my man and my cat.  It would be nice to see Portland for a couple of weeks and then go down to Central America.  At one point I was in a SCUBA lesson and I just started to cry.  It was really weird, I think it had a lot to do with the reiki treatment and the inability to avoid my innermost emotions.  It just all came out. The Bali boys were more than happy to offer their company. I was told this would happen and I think, so far, there has been well over a dozen offers of marriage.  Remember polygamy is alive and well so if the  boy is over 25 it’s pretty likely he has a wife and maybe even a few kids.  But, that’s ok, because you can just join in…  yeah.

Diving is a science and it was a bit mind boggling for me.  I am really grateful for the people who have gone before and calculated the dive times and surface intervals because if I didn’t know what I was doing, I could very well kill myself by getting distracted at the bottom of the ocean by all the beautiful things.  I had so much fun just hovering over a coral bed and watching the fish build their houses and lay eggs and chase each other.

I love how my gear allows me to swim in the best aquarium ever!!!  There are these HUGE blue starfish and these GIAGANTIC shell fish who move veeeeeeeery sloooooowly but if you get too close or if there is a sudden change in water current they *bloop* close up, just like that.  Fish have really funny personalities, I never would have guessed but, they are really silly.  Some are not shy at all, they will swim up to your mask and bump it.  Others look really annoyed and once they size you up they go back to chasing each other around the coral.  The colors and the stripes reminded me of fashion, especially the coral, it was very gothic and the zippy lines on this one small fish were all very glam it was really entertaining.

The USAT Liberty wreck is really neat.  When I first saw it I had a rush of excitement.   I looked to my right and there was this sunken ship and to my left was a big drop off where I could see nothing except deep blue and for a moment it was really thrilling and I was almost scared but, then I realized that I know what I am doing and that I am safe.  Sometimes it hits me that there are monsters in the ocean and that I am very small and very tasty and it makes me want to run on the water to the shore like in the cartoons.  Seeing the wreck was all very Scoobie Doo, it looked like a haunted ship and the sound effects played in my mind and I had to try not to laugh because I didn’t want my mask to flood. I swam all around it and inside, the coral and fish there are really happy, they have great little areas to thrive and it makes it all very picturesque.

I received my Open Water SCUBA certification on 20/02/09, exactly three years after I entered AA and started living sober.  I got really excited when I realized this coincidence.  When I was going through the steps it was suggested to write a list of goals I wanted to accomplish now that I was sober.  I was to write every dream or goal I had that I was interested in perusing.  Diving was on that list along with travel and cultural exploration.  Just three years later, it is a reality.  Proof that if one clears the mind, focuses energy, anything is possible.  And if I can clear my mind and focus, anybody can do it!

With another goal accomplished it was time to head back to the city.  Being on the edge of the world was very nice but, I wanted to go back to civilization. I contacted Bekah and got a recommendation on where to stay.  She had a friend who owns a hotel, she had never been there and was feeling weird to suggest it without doing so but, I knew not where to go so I took it.  She got me a huge discount and it was much appreciated.  I hired a taksi and headed to Kuta, the most touristic place on Bali.

See, Kuta was planned this way from the start.  It was developed on Bali’s least sacred land to house the din of inequity that is party paradise.  It can be likened to Tijuana in that it is the Australian’s cheap get away.  So you can imagine, crazed Aussies off their heads walking shirtless and barefoot through the streets with a beer in their hand.  There are also a fair amount of amazingly beautiful women from around the world.  Seriously, I tripped and almost fell staring at this Swedish chick, she looked like a supermodel, no make up, tank top and jeans and an absolute knock out.  It was very intimidating, to say the least. The clubs all blare their music as if they can out do each other and the loadies just crawl from bar to bar.

Bekah had invited me to see her favorite band.  She had set up an interview with the lead singer for her research so we met for dinner and went to the show.  The restaurant we picked was really, really nice.  It had an indoor waterfall and a live band with a great singer and the food was delicious.  I had a fish steak and Bekah had fish and chips, we both got these enormous coffee thingies that were the best since I left the States.  It cost as much as if we had dinner at home too, a splurge for us both.  Afterward we went over to the venue to hear the band.

It was smokey and loud so, being the old lady that I am, I went across the street to binge on my guilty pleasure; the internet cafe!  Air conditioned, broadband, cheap and easy – my favorite!  I spent a good hour and thanks to the show being so loud, I was able to hear it from there.  I made my way over there to see a few songs before they finished and was glad I did, they are truely amazing and quite unique, no wonder Bekah likes them so much.  You can read all about them in her up coming book about Bali’s music scene.

After she finished her interview we went back to my hotel to freshen up and leave our things.  I convinced her to go dancing to *gasp* techno music.  She dosn’t really get techno music at all, which I understand being an ethnomusicologist but, I explained there is more than meets the ear.  We went to this swanky multi leveled club where the music was actually pretty good. The crowd left a lot to be desired but it was fun none the less.  Bekah was surprised that I can dance the way I do, she was very impressed    We worked ourselves into a sweat and decided to head out to see other places.

Bekah’s host family forbids her to go to Kuta.  This is because of the bombings (don’t freak out, mom, everything is OK), there are high religious and racial tensions here in Indonesia and it is a huge social conflict.  Bekah being from NC and me having a black boyfriend, we are no stranger to this kind of tension.  Here it is much different because all sides see it as a choice that is in direct conflict with their own.  Needless to say it is not talked about and not so obvious to the casual tourist but, it is present for every Indonesian every day.  She kept laughing because her family would freak out if they knew where she was, she is, after all, a  29 year old woman who hasn’t reported her whereabouts since she was about 15, so the notion of being forbidden is really crazy.  So because of this, we went into all the silly seedy tourist bars and had a good laugh.

When we were tired of all that we sat on the street to people watch.  There was a Japanese guy juggling crystal balls in what seemed to be some sort of meditative trance.  He had long dreads and was topless wearing Thai fisherman pants dancing bare foot busking for tips.  Bekah was fascinated so we went over and sat near him.  He fed off our energy and got really into his art, it was very impressive, he made it look so easy.  I had a feeling he would fit perfectly on the playa (Burningman) at sunrise.  After he finished, we talked with him and he had indeed been to Burningman!  He also spins fire and knows about March Fourth Marching Band.  Once we said that Bekah said that she too was a fan and at that moment it felt like a really small world.

I didn’t get to bed until 3am that night, the latest I have stayed up since I have been traveling, it was fun!  My room was less than satisfactory, to say the least.  There were cobwebs everywhere and I realized there were bed bugs as I was awaken by itching all over my legs and a strange feeling in my hands and feet.  I was distraught so I called home.  I was not happy and I was tired and I was whining – a lot.  It’s pretty hard for anyone to muster sympathy for me when I am living a dream but I was really upset by the circumstances.  I tried to get some more sleep before I would have to move.

In the morning I got my things together and took a shower.  I got my towel and dried myself when I felt something sharp and scratchy.  A GIANT cockroach the size of my thumb was hiding in my towel and crawled all over my naked body.  *shiver*  That was it!  I was done!  No more of this gross budget hotel stuff, I was gonna find a nice place even if I have to spend more than I have been.  I just want to relax and enjoy myself.

I called Bekah and told her all about it.  She felt really bad and was quite shocked wondering how her friend could let his place go like that.  She was afraid I was going to leave Bali because of her and her suggestions!  I assured her that, indeed,  I would not.  I set out to find a place and do some shopping.  I went out around Kuta and got some things I needed, got some reflexology and a pedicure and had some candeling done on my ears, my right ear is still blocked from diving.  A while later I got a text from Bekah for a great little place in Seminyak.

I went back to the hotel and checked out.  I gave the reception a piece of my mind and just as I expected, I got a snicker and a look like “suck it up, princess” which is a phrase they love in Kuta.  I caught a taksi to Seminyak and left it behind.

The place is called Raja Gardens and I love it!  I have a good sized room with a beautiful bed and a huge bathroom.  There is a wall of windows that overlook a garden and a wall of frosted glass between the bathroom and the bedroom, there are glass bricks and it’s all very nice.  It’s just a short walk to the beach and at night, in the garden,  I can hear the waves  It’s more than I have paid the whole time I have been traveling but, now I have a sense that I am on vacation and I can completely understand why people come here and do everything from this part of the island.  If I could afford it, I would too.

The beaches here are white sand and there are cute boutiques and restaurants and spas.  The resorts are fancy and the scene is all very contemporary.  Some people are angered by this but I have to ask; where does Contemporary Asian design exist if not in Asia?  And why not for those who can afford to enjoy it?  Since it is a planned tourist area it is not taking from anything else and if anything is pumping a good deal of money into the local economy.  Things here cost more than elsewhere, there are still budget places but, the western standard costs a lot to create here.  Things are not naturally like this in Indonesia, everything is much more laid back.  They work very hard to meet that standard and I am happy to pay for it.

My first night here I went to the beach to see the stars and the sea.  I sat on the end of the esplanade where the road meets the sand and just enjoyed the breeze.  I wondered to myself what was next and thanked g-d for blessing me.  Just then I looked up and saw a shooting star.  I always take that as a wink from g-d telling me I’m on the right path and to watch for signs because something special is about to come along.

I caught a motor bike taksi to a club where there was a DJ from Ibiza playing on the beach.  When we arrived there I was not convinced.  The music seemed  a bit too fluffy for me and I wasn’t in the mood for the drunks and bar girls.  I went to the market and got a snack to enjoy on the beach.  My friend, Jan, is clever!  We found some music that was nice and went to the beach right in front and listened to the music for free.  We talked for a couple of hours.  He told me about Sumatra, where he is from, and about Lake Toba.  I was suddenly very inspired.  Again it was late so I wanted to head home and sleep.

I am looking into coming back to Indonesia from Thailand. I want to see Lake Toba, it is the 3rd deepest lake in the world and it sounds like an amazing place.  It is why I traveled here, to see these sacred places that are unique to this part of the world.  There is an ancient volcano that is said to been the reason for the last ice age.  It has a well spring of fresh water pouring out of it creating a waterfall.  That waterfalls into a 1500ft deep fresh water lake which falls into several rivers and feeds Sumatra with it’s drinking water, fish and hydroelectricity.  It just sounds amazing and it is a hop, skip and a jump (ok three planes and a bus) from Thailand and it’s pulling on me…

Yesterday Jan took me to Padang Padang and we went to the Monkey Temple to watch the sunset.  I got some good pictures and had a lovely time.  If you google images for  “Bali” pictures of sunsets, it is beyond words how beautiful they are.  I enjoy trying to capture them but, really, it just doesn’t do it justice.

I’m glad I chose to move around a lot, I feel like I have seen a lot of Bali so far and I have a good idea of what’s good and well, what’s not so good.  Spending a month in a place allows me to face challenges and really get a sense of a place by finding my solutions, most of the time it’s in my own heart.

Thanks for keeping up!  I’ll try to update more now that I have intarwebs again.

Miss you, kiss you, wish you were here!

~B

Sweet dreams

The bad dreams have gone.

The place I was staying was a family house which, in Bali, means it had many buildings and parts including a temple. The family with whom I was staying is of the highest caste, this means they are wealthy and well respected. The husband kept coming on to me, this angered the wife. Put that together with the water and electricity being spotty and all the bad dreams I was having and it was time to go.

On the last night, I had told my house mother about the dreams. She informed me that she and her daughters had also had bad dreams and that there had been some early deaths in their family. At this point I wasn’t sure if they had died there or not. She had said that they made regular offerings at the family temple to appease the spirits and whatever I was experiencing was, in fact, OK. On the one hand I felt better knowing I was not alone but, on the other, I was none too happy about there being a possible haunting. Either way, I moved out.

I moved to a place called Hibiscus Inn. It is so lovely! It is in the rice fields and it is immaculate with everything in working order and a wonderfully attentive staff. The price includes breakfast of my choosing and I choose coffee, jappal and fresh mixed juice. There is a really deep tub in which I am taking a bath every night and a lovely mosquito net that wraps the bed like some fairy tale scene involving a prince. (By the way, I am missing mine immensely and am sad he cannot be here to make it more romantic.)

I had asked around about meeting a healer, I explained that I wanted to learn protection and energy systems of the Balinese tradition. Wayan, the owners eldest son, called his grandfather in the morning. A very interesting reply, indeed, his grandfather said it was too high of a risk to teach me the traditions if I was not living in Bali. The reason being is that as my teacher he would be responsible for my use of the magic and if I was practicing in America I would be too far away from him and I could stretch his soul too thin and he is older so he is unable to take that energy on. I was fascinated by this and completely understand.

Wayan then made some phone calls to some friends. He told me of a famous healer recommended by his friend who would be able to help me. We jumped on the bike and rode out of Ubud a bit. It was an interesting time, to be sure. Upon arriving the priest was involved in a ceremony of sorts with offerings and bell ringing and gestures and laughing. I took it as a good turn.

When he worked with me the mood changed considerably. Wayan had told him of what I wished to learn, protection for my work and the energy of my sessions, explaining that I wished to study. But the man just waved him off and offered me a palm reading, which apparently he has written a book and become well known for in the West. I agreed and was asked to pay R 250,000 which is a lot to me at the moment.

He then read my palm and told me everything I ever wanted to hear. I am blessed, intelligent, beautiful, healthy, can bear children if I wish, will get married (and if he was younger he would “get me”) and that I am healthy and have healthy organs – such as heart, lung, kidney and gallbladder? This kind of bothered me because even my Chinese Medicine teacher in my college saw in the first 5 minutes of assessing me that I had gallbladder problems and would need treatment which 5 years later came true in an emergency operation, so I was nonplussed at this turn.

One thing that always happens when I see these kinds of folks is they tell me everything good and then send me on my way. The thing that lets me know I am with a true healer is they look at me and tell me that I could treat them. After they say that we go on to talk shop and have great conversation. The puffed up fortune tellers always give lip service and send me on because they know I know that they don’t know. It was really disappointing, to say the least.

After reading my palm and praising everything from my karma to my good looks, he proposes that if I need protection, I can buy a magic painting from him for R 1,000,000! I look down, very embarrassed for us both, and I tell him I cannot afford it. I am heavy hearted at this point. I thank him and leave. As I pass another client of the priest, he leans over and tells me: “I understand your problems completely and I would like for you to email me your problems so I can help you” and he hands me a card which says ADH Company General Manager Dan Ioan DRULIAC of Romania. I take it and thank him with much skepticism. He tells me not to accept everyone but to remain open, or something to that effect.

Out on the street Wayan and I stand there looking at each other. He asks me what I think. I tell him I am disappointed and he agrees. We are both hungry so I offer to treat him to a Balinese lunch at a place of his choosing. We bob and weave through the chaotic traffic that is Asian driving. I feel like kissing the ground when we arrive to the restaurant!

Over lunch of Nasi Gorang, Wayan tells me that he too is very disappointed in the healer. He tried to ask the man to help me and he was told “yeah, yeah, yeah” and then he gave me the canned response that he gives to Westerners. I said yeah, welcome to my world. This seemed to really bother him and he started brain storming. There is a woman in the neighborhood who does massage and body work who he thinks I should talk to. This sounds good so we go there after lunch. Again with the crazy chaos of traffic!

Seriously! People are driving on the sidewalks and weaving all over the place. The lines are merely suggestions. The lights are notions that maybe you should stop sometime soon so others can have a go. someone came so close to me on another bike that they brushed my sleeve. The traffic is just as esoteric as the religion! I close my eyes at times and just hold on, praying to g-d in heaven to deliver me safely.

Turns out the woman I am too see is in Java until the 15th. I think I will go to the body work center tomorrow and inquire about some workshops or maybe ask if I can have a consult with the master there. I just pray I can afford it, seems that Ubud us the rich travelers playground, most things are expensive, even by western standards.

I was in a bit of a funk over the whole cost of living situation when I met a very interesting woman from the states, Rebekah Moore. She is doing her dissertation in ethnomusicology on the post bomb music scene of Bali. This is very deep stuff she is talking about. There has only been one book written on the modern music scene of Bali and that was back in 1995 so there is a lot of ground for her to cover. She has a special visa from the Indonesian government. She has a sponsor and has been living with a Balinese family for four months already. She tells me she lives on about $1.50 a day. This blows my mind.

The coolest thing is that she is an athlete and has done a triathlon in White Bear Lake. This is very amazing as that is the lake on which I grew up. Now, there are well over 16,000 lakes in Minnesota, it is a rare person who knows about my lake and let alone in Bali! This is getting more interesting by the minute! She gives me great insight into Ubud, life as a white foreigner in Bali and how to lower my cost of living. I will take her suggestions and head to Sanur soon to take my diving courses and live a bit on the beach. She even knows a natural healer who does massage from whom I can get a treatment. I can’t wait to read her book!

All of this has made me very happy. It had seemed that I came at the wrong time or was in the wrong head space to receive all that is offered in Bali. Now, I see that I just needed to find my flow. I think it would have been different if I had come directly from the states. Having flown in from Thailand, I needed to get my head around Bali from a totally different place. Bali really is it’s own world and the longer I am here the more I see that no one can really ever truely understand the magic here unless they are Balinese. That is OK with me, I am merely here as a guest and an observer. Sometime when I have a proper visa and some extra money I would love to come back and take my time exploring more of Bali and the surrounding islands of greater Indonesia.

Well, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading!

All my love!

Inward and outward

Roosters. Top of the morning, top of the mid morning, top of the noon, top of mid afternoon, top of the top of the top of top. Rick-i-ki-ki-kiii

I rise and freshen up getting ready for my day out of the city. the driver arrives along with my friend and we set out into the rice padis and mountain roads of greater Bali. Our destination is the Holy Hot Springs, Pondok Wisata Grya Sari. We have a long drive ahead so I drink some Balinese coffee with some sugar. Funny story; I left the cap off my sugar yesterday so there are a bunch of tiny ants in there. I cannot bear to waste the sugar and I have no more so I had my coffee with ants. It was kind of nutty, the flavor, not the experience, or maybe both?

We head out and gain elevation quickly. There are many villages, not as developed, surrounded with rice padis. There are markets and warungs everywhere. Children chumming around together, as Saturday is a school day, full of outings in the field.

We arrive first at the Botanical Gardens. We enter and already there are dieties everywhere. I love this greeting with a promise and a warning that I am protected by what could destroy me. I snap pictures here and there.

We climb some stairs to an elevated garden in a conservatory. This is a giant terrarium, a cactus haven in the tropics, it’s brilliant. I ask if there is a hose so I can wash my shoes of mud I stepped in. I am led around the trail to a spigot. I go to use it and I slip and fall into a cactus tree. Sudden sharp stabbing occurs in my left hand as the giant needles sink into my palm. There are a dozen points that hit my flesh all at once going about a cm deep each. I pull back and am shocked. I look at my now polka dotted hand. I know not what to do. A gardener sees me and picks a flower for me to use on my hand. He smashes it up and smears it in my palm wiping the juices over my hand. I pout and thank him and go to the car.

The next stop is the medicinal plant section. I get out and pour fresh water over my hand and head through the gates. The first thing I see is aloe! Thank g-d! I pick some and wash my palm in it’s juices. I feel better already.

We tour the gardens viewing bamboo groves, medicinal plants, flower orchards and pagodas tucked away through tropical conifer like palms. I am ready to move in as soon as they will let me. I will pitch a canvas tent, I will eat out of palm leaves and eat fruit dropped ripe.It will be perfect!

We leave the garden and head towards the springs. The valley gives way to mountain pass as we wind up into the mist. It’s a long way down, I am sure to take care when climbing a wall for a picture.

I had a strange experience. I had a dream the night before involving a powerful psychic priestess who had a lot to tell me. The next day, while on this road trip, I met her in person and we finished our conversation. It was amazing and totally normal to me, I was wondering when it would pick up here in Bali. The restaurant she owns has the most amazing view of the rice padis and we had a great little lunch before heading on toward the hot springs.

The road was narrow and winding through the mountains. It was a while before we reached the springs. When we did, it was 3.000 R to enter (around 30 cents) the facilities were basic with toilets, change rooms and a locker.

The pools were magnificent! The Balinese make things that last forever, sculpted and moss covered in the most beautiful locations. The hottest pool was up top with the water coming out of Dragons heads. The middle pool was like a swimming pool about 2 meters deep with a shallow end with water coming out of dragons heads. The third pool was over aside the swimming pool and had these large pipes about 4 meters above the pool from which the water dropped . This created a very forceful stream you could use for a shoulder and back massage. It was great!

On my way from the pool to the massage pool, I slipped and fell opening the skin on my foot and knee. Another accident. It wasn’t so bad, and I used some medicine to help it heal faster.

We continued on, stopping at a Buddhist temple. I have just come from Thailand to Bali so I have seen a lot of Buddhist temples till now. This one was very different, very mixed with Hindu gods. It was beautiful overlooking the land descending to the sea.

We went on to the sea and had a moment on a black sand beach. It was a very active sea at the time. I snapped some pictures and a video. I walked along the shore and picked some shells. We then headed back to the car. On our way we were begged by some venders to buy some goods, sarongs, sculptures, toys, and some paintings. I was so tired, at this point, of the vendors that I didn’t even make eye contact. I was not interested in buying anything so I just walked by. This seemed to inspire resentment, as westerners are oft seen as walking wallets.

We got back on th road to Ubud heading back over the mountains. I was gathering my things and I realized that my camera was gone. Oh, well, I have to let it go, I guess. Either I dropped it, I left it or I was pick pocketed. Either way, my camera is gone along with my Bali pictures.

I got very car sick after that and needed to lay down and rest. I fell asleep for most of the ride back. When we got back to town we had dinner and I got some rest.

That was two days ago and Barbara and I decided to rent car and go to the beach to the south east of Ubud.

We set out around 11 am and headed out. We passed many villages and enjoyed looking at the non tourist areas. The goal was to see other places where there was mostly Balinese people just living. We wound around the hills down to the sea and enjoyed some Kopi Bali, Balinese Coffee, in a small warung near the sea.

There was a Hindu funeral going on and Barbara wanted to watch, I stayed behind trying to make out if the satay had shellfish. I enjoyed some food coffee while she sat in on the ceremony. I didn’t feel like crying so I was OK to hang back. When she returned we discussed the prices at this warung, they were 10 times less. This of course, set about a whole rant about price gouging tourists.

We took along the shore and found the black sand to be very soft and sparkly, it was nice.

We headed out again to find a swimming beach. We drove a while till we got stuck in a traffic jam. Apparently there has been no ferry to Lombok for four days and this has been a serious inconvenience for many people. the driving here is amazingly chaotic but imagine all these people stuck and trying to turn around, ouff! Then it started to down pour, the swimming would have to wait for another day.

We got out alive and headed up into the hill to a former capitol, Klungkung. It was very different and not touristic at all. We found a restaurant and ordered lunch. Not to complain because I am, after all in Bali but, this food was the worst I have had so far while I have been traveling, it was truely a marvel! After both of us had picked through our food for a while we had a good laugh! Afterward I looked for a camera in a near by shop. Too expensive so I passed on it. We decided to check out the old palace.

This palace was really cool, there was a lot of pictures and carvings beneath the eves of the buildings and a museum. There was also a temple there so we watched as some women made offerings. We went to the museum which I found to be sad. It featured the fall of the Balinese to the Dutch. It was heavy and dark.

We had to get back before sunset so we got back on the road. As we were heading back up into the hills, we passed a large rather famous temple. Many people were there making offerings. We donned our sarongs and headed in. I felt really out of place and rather like I was intruding. It was less about anything else than the fact that the Hindu temples do not speak to me.

I have been having really strange dreams at night and I have come to believe that my bungalow is haunted, either that or I am being haunted there. I have strange sensations and I hear many noises in the room as if I were not alone. Then I have these dreams where I am having encounters with mythical beasts/gods/goddesses and none of it is at all pleasant. It’s kind of like a struggle then a conversation then I want to leave and then I am followed then there are these hallways and alleys where I must walk through and the entire time their faces are changing and I know not where I am. Many times the noises in the room wake me up and I try my best to just go back to sleep but then I am having these strange dreams again. When I wake up, I am contorted with the sheets all around me and the pillows everywhere. It has been very disturbing. I will move to another place tomorrow.

I mean, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I am very stable and sane these days, in fact, I am almost too practical. It’s just these nights are like some sort of psychic battle and I am not really enjoying myself. Indeed the day where I fell on the cactus, fell at the Holy spring and lost my camera was the day after a particularly difficult night of dreaming had occured. Since then, I have been burning the sage I carry and I consulted my cards and nothing too alarming has come up. I think this my be some old stuff I have to work out. Either way, I am moving to a place on the rice padi so I can have wind and rain and movement through my room.

When I was in Belize the temples spoke to me. They told me stories and warmed my solar plexus. They embraced me and made me feel like I was coming home. Here, the Hindu temples do not have the same effect on me at all and I fell like an excluded outsider. It’s OK, not everything is going to speak to everyone but, I guess I thought that I would connect more with these ancient places.

I have been struggling with home sickness lately. I miss being known, I miss being loved and I miss being comfortable. I am now aware of just how good I have it back home and it washes over me like a warm shower every once and a while. Maybe it will pass but it sure makes my heart long for my loved ones and my cat and my lovely town of Portland.

I have nothing more to write now and will try to find some classes soon to keep me busy. I will let you know how it goes.

Thanks for reading and be well.

Bangkok to Bali

The BKK airport has nothing of any use or interest for someone spending a good 6 hours there. I feel really sorry for those who were stuck during the December protests, there is not any services nor places to rest or eat a healthy meal. I wiled my time away at the Evil Empire coffee shop because they had plugs where I could charge my gadgets.

I saw a woman, Barbara, standing in the check in line with the best shoes. They were negative heel like mine but they were sandals like tevas. I asked her about them and we chatted, exchanging compliments. She had a Germanic accent and was looking to finish some business before boarding, I liked her immediately.

The flight was smooth and I slept like the dead, not waking until we were about to land. I watched the earth change to islands dappled across the sea. Waters of turquoise and deep blue mixed with white sand and black sand beaches. The rain was coming down creating swirly patterns in the water and large crashy waves. could see marine life as well as the human impact upon the environment. There were large trenches dug for the ships and freighters, along with swirls of petroleum, this made me cringe.

When we landed, the entrance to Indonesia was smooth and the most friendly yet. Balinese are so friendly within 5 minutes of arriving I was being offered a home stay with an immigration agent! They wanted to help with my bags and help me find a place and a taksi and anything my heart desired, it was a bit overwhelming but, oh so sweet.

I exited the terminal to be asked a thousand times over if I wanted a taksi. I had no idea where I was going so I stopped at the hotel counter to get an idea about some places. The prices were out of my range so I decided to stick with my plan and just wing it. I turned around and saw Barbara getting a taxi to Ubud, my first choice destination. We decided to share a taksi. I had no idea where I was going and this seemed to puzzle everyone.

The taksi took about an hour. It was very enjoyable to watch the city change to lush tropical scenery and give way to rice fields. I got emotional for a minute as it hit me I was where I had always wanted to visit. It looks like National Geographic, just like when I poured over the photos as a child. Another dream come true.

We drove along winding roads passing temple walls through palm covered lanes as we gained elevation closer to the center of the island. I was amazed at the contrast between the grey stormy skies and the lush foliage. Everything seems so alive! Also, most everything I saw seemed to be very carefully placed, mindfulness everywhere!

Barbara had been recommended a guest house, she invited me follow, I had no idea myself. It was through a narrow passage along rushing water, irrigation canal for the fields I assumed. It was still raining so we hurried along the paths through the fields towards the guest house. It was not exactly perfect so we looked around the places in the same area.

These houses have large windows that open at the bottom and overlook the patties, filled with rain and bending in the breezes. The rooms are a nice size with bathrooms almost half the size of the room, very large, indeed. They are on the high side of my price range but, I agreed to stay. I want to see how it is to live in a rice patties. After settling in and freshening up we head out to see the town.

Since it was very wet, my shoes would not do, at all! So I left the guest house shoe less to find some on the street where I stay, simple enough, there are shoes sold everywhere. So I head out, thinking nothing of it, I will find some shoes quickly. In fact, I had a list; dinner, SIM card, electrical adapter and shoes.

As soon as we entered the main street from the lane we are asked if we want a ride and a recommendation. We agree and are in for a lesson well learned. He drives us clear across town. Now, don’t get me wrong, the place is nice enough and the food was great but, we had no idea where we were! Of course I had been spoiled by Thailand and wanted a massage ASAP. There we stood, in the rain, not knowing where exactly we were and me shoeless. It was silly!

So we head back in the general direction from where we came. We find a store that sells adapters and get some. Then I see some shoes! They are Crock knock offs, that’s exactly what I want! You must remove your shoes in most places and it is the rainy season so it seems only logical, right? Fashion aside, they work. So I go in and find my size and she asks for nearly $15! I refuse, that is too much and she knows it! So I say, I’ll pay like $6 and she looks at me knowing full well I have no shoes and have no room to bargain and stands firm. I realize her logic and really, she’s right. I tell her all I have is $10 and that’s what she can have, we both know I’m paying double what I would pay in the market but, who am I to complain? Silly! We go on to find the rest of the supplies and linger here and there window shopping.

Bali is a shoppers paradise, especially if you enjoy colorful art and jewelery and textiles, which I do. I am so glad I was not buying anything, as I soon realized there are the same things everywhere and the quality things were dispersed around here and there. Good thing to look but not buy, just yet.

As we were walking, the sun had set and it was around 21 hr. We did not recognize anything really, it was dark now and most everything shut. We had only just arrived when we were whisked away so we were clueless. Thank goodness I asked a couple where the guest house was or we may have walked all the way back to Denpasar! The couple, early 20’s, were the nicest people we could have met. They drove us the half mile back to the guest house.

When we got back Barbara had asked for water and there was none. This shocked me a bit and she wanted to go get some at the restaurant down the road. I went back to my room and enjoyed the sounds of the rice patties.

There was a symphony of frogs, and these aren’t your average croaking amphibians, no, this is Bali. These frogs have the most intricate calls and they go in chorus, singing to each other in phrases, there is a rhythm to their songs. There are many pitches and pauses and then go ahead and add the nocturnal birds and lizards, the bats and other night time creatures and I felt like I was in a cartoon of a jungle scene. In fact, I was! I lay in my canopy bed surrounded by mosquito lace propped up on pillows reading in the dim light of my head lamp surrounded by rice fields and singing frogs, it was perfect.

Funny story; Barbara found water of a different kind. Upon returning from the restaurant, there was no light in her bungalow so unwittingly, she fell in the koi pond outside her house! She was wearing fitted Crocks and she sunk in the mud up past her ankles in complete shock in the middle of the night. This was quite scary for her at the time but, the next morning it was hilarious! She had to fish her shoes out once there was sun light and still it took a while! Poor thing!

I have since moved out of Ina Inn because I really don’t want to spend a whole lot on housing as there are many things to do here that cost a bit. I moved in to a family’s compound just around the corner from the Inn where I was. It is very clean and nicely furnished everything works and it is in a pleasant garden setting, there are animals and I feel very welcomed and safe. I don’t have the rice pattie but I have more money and a sense of belonging here, it is very nice. For that I will leave the rice and pay half the price

On to more important business, I have been to two spas so far. Yesterday I went for a massage because I needed it after low sleep and carrying my pack. It was OK, the spa itself was beautiful but the bed (?) I was on and the massage left more to be desired. Today I went to one I saw in a brochure and it was amazing!

The Secret Garden, it is an amazing and wonderful place, to be sure. It is situated on a hill outside of the center of Ubud up a winding jungle path lined with moss covered walls and beneath a canopy of viney foliage, it was right out of a movie. I entered the gates along a stone path over a moat and through a garden. I ordered a 90 minute massage and a facial. The room was inside a building across the garden. The middle of the compound is situated a Balinese veranda with marble floors, columns and a high pitched thatch roof. The furnishings are comfortable and made of rattan and teak, there is a library and many tables to enjoy food or games. This is surrounded by water features and a pool. The treatment rooms are in separate bungalows surrounding the garden, it’s pretty fancy! The treatments were wonderful and my skin is glowing and soft as the day I was born.

After my massage I went back to town and past a cafe when I was pulled in by one of those feelings I get when something cool is going to happen. I ordered tuna over asparagus and couscous with spicy tomato sauce accompanied with a fresh lemon juice with Borneo honey, it was delicious. Aftrer my meal, I noticed a pull toward the stairs, so I went. I walked down two floors, the places here are massive, and I saw a table with a bunch of mismatched people. You know what that means, right? An AA meeting, of course! It was a complete Godshot, as I knew not of the meeting spots in Ubud, it was meant to be.

Time was approaching for showtime for the dance performance for which Barbara and I bought tickets earlier. I walked over to the theater. It looks a lot like a Temple and I think there is a temple next door. The performance was great, it was a story of good and evil and the forces that get to us, it told of chaos and order and the natural balance being upset and restored. You know, a good old fashioned Hindu morality tale. Colorful, beautiful, melodious and rhythmic, I was thoroughly impressed and really want to learn Balinese hand dancing for sure.

It’s past my bedtime now so I will sign off now. When I write again it will be after I take a tour of the island, that’s on Saturday.

Thanks for reading and be well.

Food

I really enjoy trying new things. I need to be in an adventurous mood but, every few days I try something new. Sometimes I spit it out and swear it off forever and other times I have been pleasantly surprised. Weird and strange and pungent but sweet delights await you on the Thai street.

Durian, who would’ve guessed? It smells nothing like it tastes, you eat it for the after taste. Durian ice cream is the weirdest of all, as you go to lick it you can smell it and it seems counter intuitive to lick it but, then it’s really sweet.

Most times chicken is roasted with the head still attached. If you eat meat this is a safe bet. And, no, they do not eat dog or cat here in Thailand.

There are these little pans of sauce cups and they place them over a heat source and pour egg and coconut in them and bake them into these mini souffles. Some have onion some have coconut and I have never eaten anything like them. They are so great!

Curry: red, yellow, green, panang, masaman, Indian and so many variants I have lost count. Mostly served in a soupy form, it can be eaten with egg noodle topped with fried egg noodle, over rice or with rice noodle. You can ask for mild but I go for spicy these days, it cleans the blood and kills bacteria.

Coffee! They grow and brew great coffee here, apparently it wasn’t always like this. But somewhere somehow it caught on and they now have a local fair trade coffee that rivals the worlds best. I like it Thai style with condensed milk and ice. That would some of the old Euro and French influence left over.

Tea is a must but, surprisingly, in most restaurants, they serve Lipton! I can’t get over that. Am I not in Asia?

Curry puffs are amazing. They are tiny croissants with a sweet curry paste, usually with chicken, filling. They are delectable and a lovely snack. Best if found at the bakery, the store brand is not as good. They are eaten as a dessert.

Thai love their fried foods! There are these carts everywhere that fry almost anything. I have not indulged in any of this because I do not digest this very well (does anybody?). They fry fish whole and put it on a stick, kind of like the state fair.

Walking through the markets is the best. This is where you see everything! And some of it is so extreme I have had to breathe my mouth and get away fast and I have a stomach of steel.

There is every kind of food imaginable here in Chiang Mai. I found an Italian restaurant who makes their own mozzarella, amazing! The caprice is delectable. The other day I went with friends and we ate a dish from every part of the menu . I have not had real cheese in almost a month, it was perfect! The gellato was amazing! And I can’t forget to mention the cappuccino! Yum! Not something I will do often but, a nice break from Asian cuisine, indeed.

I am enjoying the food immensely and encourage everyone to try something new. If you don’t like it, you will never have to eat it again but, if you like it you will have a new favorite!

Bon appatite

Mercury!

In retrograde!  In a country where I don’t speak, let alone understand, the language!  Complete alienation!  Arrrrgh.

So I have not blogged for a minute.  Why complain when I am in the midst of living one of my dreams?  I mean seriously, would you be able to muster any sympathy for me?  I wouldn’t, that’s for sure!

So here’s the short.  My basic Thai Massage course is through, I learned some, mostly reviewed a lot of technique with a new “reason” for doing it.  But sadly and most importantly I have discovered I cannot practice traditional Thai Massage.  The reconstruction of my left hip has caused a small bone spur that limits my external rotation.  At first I didn’t think much about it because I can walk, run and dance like nobody’s business.  But, the reality is, the bone spur is enough to limit my ability to utilize the correct postures to apply traditional techniques.  Oh, well, there’s always table Thai.

The realization of this truth along with my complete ineptitude for the Thai language coupled with the shock of being half way around the world made me feel as though I was going to have a break down.  At first I tried to redefine everything, then I tried to over analyze everything, then I tried to control everything and when all that failed, I went to an AA meeting.  Man, oh, man!  I knew I was in trouble when I started romanticizing having a drink and maybe meeting some new people…  (big uh-oh)

So I went to a meeting.  I have not been attending regular meetings, for reasons I will not state here, and this is not the best idea for an alcoholic.  Oh, and in case you didn’t know, I am an alcoholic through and through.  Earned my badge when I was 13    Once I was in a meeting, hearing the message of AA, I felt this amazing calm come over me.  Here I was in Chiang Mai, Thailand, in a meeting of AA and the stories were all the same!   Everyone in that room was from another place on the globe and they all had the same story!  I was floored and filled with hope again.  The message was received loud and clear!  Let go and let god.

This journey is about so much more than my explorations of healing methods and the satisfaction of my wanderlust.  This journey is a chrysalis and a peeling of layers at once.  I am being faced with my judgments and my lack of openness and my firm grip on my ego.  I have struggled with feeling out of control, alienated, foreign and especially spoiled.  My hope is that these challenges are making me into a better person.  I can no longer hold so firmly to what I think I know.  I can no longer push my way through.  I can no longer stand upon my judgments nor can I rest on my laurels.  None of this serves me any longer, and really, I’m not sure it ever did.

At every turn I am greeted by the principles of my spirituality and around each corner is a reminder of my blessings and the promise I have made.  I may think I am looking to learn something and then I find that entirely something else is in store.  My feelers are raw and my tongue bit through.  I have the most vivid dream life and yet I cannot see what lies ahead.  I am surrounded by mystical magical moments and at once I feel as though I am somehow missing something.  This is dizzying.

The practice is letting go.  More so than ever before.  I am no longer reading pages with a sense of wonder, I am now writing the story myself.  And yet, it has absolutely nothing to do with me.  I am not having some unique experience, I am having a human experience.  All these fears and wonders, these prejudices and preconceived notions all come back to that innate problem of the mind; fear of the other, fear of the self.

Maybe this is bullshit.  Maybe I have not a clue what is really going on with me.  Maybe I know nothing at all and I am making this up as I go along.  Let me tell you this, this is the most challenging thing I have  chosen in my life and I can’t be convinced that I could learn this any other way.  I am rather enjoying watching myself stumble, cussing beneath my breath, because I know it’s exactly what I need.

The voices of those who teach me, those from whom I have learned, those whom I admire and those who inspire me are echoing ever so softly in my ear.  I walk along the dusty streets singing, remembering that I forgot, forgetting to remember so that I can truly learn once again.

Namaste

picture taken the other day

Ants in my pants!

We entered the public park during sunny noon.  Everyone was around enjoying the park.  Some running, some badmitten some relaxing some working.  We walked around a bit and chose a spot and on the way rented a mat.  I placed the mat under a tree in the shade and went to sit down when all of a sudden I felt an itchy burning sensation!

I looked down and realized I had place the mat upon a fire ant hill.  They marched up my legs in full attack.  They went up my pant legs and my shirt up to my neck and even in my hair!  I danced around shouting and whooping swatting and sweeping.

My friends were confused and I managed to say “ANTS” as they looked closer they too were shocked to see them all over me.  As I was jumping around and whooping I tried to move the mat.  To no avail nothing would stop them from coming.  Just as I got some off me there were more!  My friends were swatting me, hitting me and we were all trying to get the ants off me.

I moved over to another spot away from the tree and the hill attempting to escape.  There were more and more, they were in my shirt, on my neck and in my hair.  I swatted, shooed, swept and everything else I could try to get them off of me.  Their little bites stung me and my word, they were fast!

The whole time there was a couple just meters away laughing and as I looked around the park, I had drawn quite a bit of attention to myself.  I could just see it, “what on earth is that Farang doing?” I just pointed and said “ANTS!”

Finally they were gone and there seemed to be no more sign of them near my mat.  I sat down still a bit paranoid for a while.  After about 5 minutes of calm I watched a young Thai couple walk toward the same tree about to do the same thing as I.  I got up and rushed over there and in English said : no, you don’t want to sit there, ants!

The hilarious couple across the way started laughing again as the man I was warning realized the ants and seemed much more frightened of me and my shock shouting English at him than he was concerned about the ants.  He swooped his mat and moved away looking at me like a crazy Farang.  By this time, the couple was laughing so hard the girl was covering her mouth and had collapsed into the boy as they looked at me in a most pitiful way.

This whole scene took about 1 minute and by that point I was definitely crazy and should be avoided.  I was just happy to have the ants off of me!

Now I know what it means to really have ants in your pants!